Apart from the obviously sinful aspects to a couple moving in together before they are married, there is another tragic consequence to pre-marrital intimacy. When two people are married, their lives are intimately joined in almost every possible way. By avoiding the formallity (seeming) of the marriage covenant, two people begin to partake in the benefits and problems of a covenant relationship that was designed to be so intimate that only death could separate. But in avoiding the commitment, they also miss a great deal of the incredible and important reality that the ceremony represents. When a man and a woman are married, on that very day, at that very moment, they cease to be separate and independantly operating entities. They take on a new identity. This identity is chiefly characterized by this new and blessed covenant, signified in the exchanging of rings; by the receiving of the name from the husband (in our culture); by the oneness that takes on physical form in intimacy and by the abandonment of a life separated.
There was a time, perhaps long ago, when you and your spouse were not married. There was even a time when you didn't know your spouse at all. Think back, to the day when you first met your spouse. Maybe you knew, they were the one! There was a time when you were on the outside of the covenant with your spouse. Though, the sinfulness of this fallen world prevents us from enjoying deep and intimate relationship without also tasting of our mate's sins, faults and issues, its clear to most of us, that the joy and blessing of our union is far greater then our time pre-marriage, alone.
My mother become a citizen of the United States of America when I was around 5 or 6. The memories of that incredibly important day are so ingrained in my mind, there are few as clear to me. I remember the ceremony in the court room in downtown denver as my mom took an oath in commitment to this country. She renounced her citizenship in her former land and took on the identity, blessings and responsibilities of her new home. She lived the dream of countless millions, to get the opportunity to participate in the freedoms, privledges and blessings of this new covenant relationship. And unlike those in her homeland that longed for and envied her new citizenship, her life was forever (temporally speaking) changed.
Your assignment this week is to read the book of Ruth. It's four short chapters. Skim the book, if you don't have time to read it. Contemplate the significance to Ruth as she is made to join the covenant people of God, and to enjoy the wonder and priviledge associated with that covenant. Importantly, notice that she is married into the line of David, and so the Messiah; Jesus. She becomes David's great grandmother. Contemplate the joy and blessing of covenant inclusion.
Have a great week.
